My Parents’ Marriage by Nana Ekua Brew-Hammond

My Parents’ Marriage is about immigrant life in the US, how we all leave home with lofty dreams, only to meet a vastly different reality, and sometimes, struggle with that reality.

I enjoyed listening to this book, so much that I was slightly annoyed when it ended. If you were angry at Elikem for marrying Afi in absentia in Peace Medie’s His Only Wife, then behold Mawuli Nuga, the real MVP.

My Parents’ Marriage was well-grounded. The author did her homework so well that not for one moment was I confused about my location in the story. The nuances of marriage, especially within Ewe culture, were aptly represented.

Standout character

Mawuli is the star of my show because what he did do in the end? Wow. Wow. Wow. I was content. Very content.

The way Mawuli’s relationships with the women in his life were described reminded me of Tom from Makumbi’s The First Woman, the way the women worshipped him, the way they were in awe of him. And yet, when he died, he seemed so… ordinary.

Mawuli remains my star of the moment. He could do no wrong in my eyes. 😂 As for Kokui? The less said, the better. I wish her well with Boris. 😂 And her never-ending quest to not be her mother.

Lessons

My Parents’ Marriage is rich with lessons on marriage. If you’ve ever been confused about the different types of marriages in Ghana and how they work, this book provides clarity. We learn that marriage is not a walk in the park, and not a quick fix either.

Mawuli wasn’t a great husband, but he was a good father: a reminder that a man can be a terrible partner but still show up for his children. The women in his life idolized him, but he only truly cared for his kids.

Marriage

I’m still not sure if polygamy is a good thing or not because, with Mawuli Nuga, you just can’t tell. But one thing is certain: he never had “illegitimate” children. He always took responsibility for them.

Kokui’s mother is a character that demands unpacking. She isn’t unique; she represents many women, past and present, in Ghana, if not across Africa. You have children for a man, only to later find out (in the most cruel way) that he has other children elsewhere. Other wives who may or may not exist.

And then, instead of leaving him, you leave him but not the marriage. You stay married to secure a future for your children. Only for the man to swerve you in the end. She might seem like an annoying character but give her grace. Give her grace.

And then there’s Auntie Hemmaa, the wallflower who isn’t really a wallflower after all, who folded all her resentment, and buried all her hurt until it was time to unleash. And still, in the end, Mawuli dealt her a strong hand too.

Final thoughts

My Parents’ Marriage is about immigrant life in the US, how we all leave home with lofty dreams, only to meet a vastly different reality, and sometimes, struggle with that reality.

The language in this book is simple and accessible. We travel across three countries—Ghana, Togo, and the US and never once does the setting feel unclear.

This is a book I’ll always recommend.